Groucho Marx Quotes...

Groucho Marx:
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.-

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. -

Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. -

All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats. -

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. -

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. -

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. -

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. -

I must confess, I was born at a very early age. -

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. -

I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn't educate America if they started at 6:30. -

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it. -

I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt. -

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? -

I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. -

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. -

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. -

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. -

I intend to live forever, or die trying-